Many Rivers to Cross
by TimeandRelativeDimensioninLove
Summary: A somewhat smutty fanfic about The Doctor and his two favorite women. Love triangle between River, Rose, and Eleven. Chapters with smut in them so far are 2, 3, and 8
1. Chapter 1

"You know when sometimes you meet someone so beautiful, and then you actually talk to them and five minutes later, they're as dull as a brick. Then there's other people and you meet them and you think, "Not bad, they're okay." And then you get to know them and... and they're face just sort of... becomes them, like their personality is written all over it. And they just... they turn into something so beautiful."

-Amelia Pond

One

She didn't have amazing eyes or an especially good body, but River Song was the most beautiful woman he'd ever met.

He knew he loved her the first time she kissed him, but in truth he'd probably loved her a long time before that. In truth he'd probably loved her ever since he first met her.

When he said he didn't know her, he caught her eyes for a moment and the pain in them showed how much she cared for him. In that moment he had loved her even though he hadn't known her.

Now the feeling he had for River was something else entirely. Something deeper then that. He loved her in a way that made heart swell and his mouth dry. The very sight of her sent a pang up his throat and all the way to his stomach.

It had been weeks since he'd seen her last. Weeks... and far too long. Although it was somewhat comforting to know she was out there somewhere, never still or unoccupied (even in prison), but still waiting for him. Just like he was always waiting for her.

Sometimes he felt like he would never see her again. Like the last time he'd seen her was really the last. The longer he went without seeing her, the more sure he became. Eventually he began to feel sure he would never see her face again.

Then there she was. Curly hair and good-natured smirk. Leaning against a street light with her hands in her pockets.

"Hello sweetie."


	2. Chapter 2

"I like geography best, he said, because your mountains & rivers know the secret. Pay no attention to boundaries."

― Brian Andreas, Story People: Selected Stories & Drawings of Brian Andreas

Two

He smiled coyly and walked over to her. "I haven't seen you in far too long. Where were you?"

She pulled him closer to her by his bow tie. "Spoilers." She leaned up to kiss him and he forgot all about how much he missed her and how angry he'd been at her for leaving him.

He fidgeted with his hands before slipping them beneath her blonde hair and leaving them on her neck. He leaned back and pulled her into the tardis.

He removed his lips from her's and dropped them down to her clavicle, gently kissing along her collarbone and neck, making her breathe heavier.

She stumbled backwards and leaned onto the tardis console. She put her hands on his neck, identical to his and guided him back, so they were kissing again.

The Doctor normally did what River wanted. It was normally the way he wanted it to be, but something about the heat of the moment and the feel of her body pressed gently into him made him want to take control.

He removed his hands from her neck and dropped them to her waist, so he could lift her up onto the console. He smirked at her and she stared back at him with wide, honest eyes.

She'd never looked so innocent or appealing. He leaned in for a brief kiss and then dropped to his knees. He pushed her dress up and bunched it over her hips before pulling her underwear down.

He leaned forward and flicked his flattened tongue against her slowly, making her moan and lean her head back. He felt like he was drunk. Being close with River always made him feel drunk.

"Wait." He could tell by her voice that it took a lot of strength for her to stop him. He paused and stood up to look at her. "This isn't what I want."

He looked at her, confused. "What is it that you want River. Anything."

She looked at him without any of her River-like mischief. Only ernest meaning. "I want you, my doctor."

He stared at her for a moment and then flipped her around so he could bend her over to console.


	3. Chapter 3

"Doctors are great-as long as you don't need them."

― Edward E. Rosenbaum, A Taste of My Own Medicine: When the Doctor Is the Patient

Three

"Oh! Yes!" She cried out as he thrust into her from behind, grabbing onto her hair in one hand, careful not to hurt her.

Her large breasts lept as he moved into her making them bounce onto the console and off again over and over. He reached his free hand around and cupped her jumping breast.

This seemed to turn her on even more because she felt her tighten around him. He finished quickly and pulled out of her breathing so hard he couldn't speak.

She leaned against him and listen to his hearts beating quickly. He put his arm around her and leaned back against the tardis console. "I wanted you too River. You're all I've ever wanted."

She turned and kissed him slowly. He wanted nothing more than to keep kissing her forever, but he was far too tired. She spoke his thoughts aloud.

"You must have a bed somewhere in this place that's not a bunkbed." He laughed. "What's wrong with bunkbeds?"

She woke up hours later, lying next to him in his bed. She had her heart on his chest listening to his hearts gently beat. He wasn't awake yet, so his breathing was even and she could see his eyes moving beneath the lids.

She lay her head back down on his chest and fell back asleep instantly. She woke up to find her curly hair lying on the sheet and him slipping on his jacket while sitting on the bed.

She reached forward and grabbed his hand. He turned with a start. "River." She pulled him backwards. "No. Don't get up yet." He sighed and kissed her softly.

"I'd love nothing more, but we're in London for a reason River. The sightings of odd disturbances in the sky aren't in my head. I have some real grunt work to do out there."

She pulled him closer. "You have some real grunt work to do in here as well doctor." He giggled slightly. "You're sick River." She nodded. "Mm hmm. Maybe I need a doctor." He leaned in to kiss her again, this time with no intention to stop, but a huge boom from outside brought them both shooting out of bed.


	4. Chapter 4

"What were they thinking? 'It's an alien apocalypse! Quick, grab the beer!"

― Rick Yancey, The 5th Wave

Four

They ran out into London just in time to see the rumbling stop and the sky split open.

Red sparks were thrown across the sky as it split. It resembled the crack in Amy's bedroom only it was across the entire sky.

Then suddenly it closed as if there had been nothing there in the first place. He shared a look with River and they started to run.

"Nothing. No trace of it. No big black ball or cybermen or ghosts or anything? There's nothing River! How does something like that happen? Why would something like that happen?"

River was too busy examining the sky to respond. "I can promise you Doctor. What ever it is will reveal itself eventually. They always do."

He glared at her. "Of course they always do, but usually in the worst way possible." She smiled slightly. "Spoilers." He shot her another glare.

"River-" He whined exasperated. "I'm trying to save the world!" She nodded. "So sorry. I'll let you do your thing." He continued pointing his sonic screwdriver at the sky while she looked at him mockingly.

He glanced back at her. She was so obnoxious. He wanted nothing more than to throw her back into his bed and just lie beside her, but he had things to do.

"It's impossible to find something when all evidence of it dissipated without a trace."

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. River looked at him. "Perhaps not everything."


	5. Chapter 5

"It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important."

― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince

Five

The girl ran forward and embraced him before anyone could say another word.

"You look different." He nodded. "I know."

They seemed to notice River standing by the console of the tardis where he had lain with her only days before.

Rose spoke to her first. "Who are you?" River smiled softly. "You must be Rose Tyler." Rose nodded and started to ask again, but the Doctor awkwardly gestured to River first. "This is Professor River Song."

She smiled again with a tilt of her head. "What a highly professional introduction husband. I'm River. Come inside dear. Get out of the doorway."

The Doctor nodded uncomfortably. "How are you here? You were in another dimension. This breaks every law of the Shadow Proclamation."

She nodded. "I know. The meta-crisis doctor is dead. He died two nights ago." The doctor turned around shaking his head. "That doesn't make sense. Why would his death cause this?"

River shot him a look. "Doctor! Shut up! I am so sorry dear. Can you please tell me everything?"

Rose nodded. "It started a while ago, real slow-like. He just collapsed in the middle of a conversation. The next day he was absolutely fine with no idea what had happened. For a week there were no symptoms at all. He was fine, then the cough started. Over the following year it got worse and worse. He started coughing until he coughed up blood, he had these episodes where he wouldn't know who he was and start speaking nonsense, his hair started to fall out. It happened so incredibly slowly, but you couldn't miss it. Two nights ago he just died. The doctors couldn't diagnose him. They said it was an entirely new disease and there was no way to know what is was, but I knew what it was. I knew exactly what it was the moment he stopped breathing."

River looked at her intently, still holding her hand, and trying to comfort her. "What was it?" Rose turned away and then turned to look at the Doctor. "Tell me doctor. When did you regenerate?"

tarted a while ago, real slow-like. He just collapsed in the middle of a conversation. The next day he was absolutely fine with no idea what had happened. For a week there were no symptoms at all. He was fine, then the cough started. Over the following year it got worse and worse. He started coughing until he coughed up blood, he had these episodes where he wouldn't know who he was and start speaking nonsense, his hair started to fall out. It happened so incredibly slowly, but you couldn't miss it. Two nights ago he just died. The doctors couldn't diagnose him. They said it was an entirely new disease and there was no way to know what is was, but I knew what it was. I knew exactly what it was the moment he stopped breathing."

River looked at her intently, still holding her hand, and trying to comfort her. "What was it?" Rose turned away and then turned to look at the Doctor. "Tell me doctor. When did you regenerate?"


	6. Chapter 6

"I am and always will be the optimist. The hoper of far-flung hopes and the dreamer of improbable dreams." -The Doctor

Six

They sat in silence until he finally, nearly killed by all the silence, broke it. "How are you here Rose?" She sighed. "I don't know. The second he died energy came out of him. Not a lot, but all of the sudden it started ripping through my wall and out into no where. I followed it. Don't know why. Guess I felt like I was following him."

He stopped her. "Never mind I know what happened." She reached out and grabbed his arm. "Please tell me Doctor." He sighed. "It was backlash. The meta-crisis doctor was made from regeneration energy, so when I regenerated again it started ebbing away at that energy until finally he died. When he died the regeneration energy that was left. Not enough to keep him alive, but a little tried to get back to me. It ripped a hole, you followed it through."

She glared at him. "My husband is dead. Don't give me your science Doctor." River pulled her in and hugged her. "I'm so sorry about your husband, but we need to know if this event puts the rest of us in danger." Rose nodded. "I think I'll go. I'll come back tomorrow, but I think I'll go for now."

He reached out a hand to stop her. "Where will you go? Everyone you know is in another dimension." She shrugged. "I'll call in a favor. Have you heard from Jack recently?" He nodded and she turned, leaving the tardis door swinging behind her.

"Sweetie. Please. I know what a shock today has been, but please come to bed. You still have to sleep."

He sighed and laid back. "I understand how she came back and I understand why she came back, but I'm still filled with confusion. I don't get it River." He looked over at her. "I'm so glad you're here."

She smiled in a way that was almost relived and laid her head on his chest. "I'm always here."


	7. Chapter 7

"Does it really need saying?" -The Doctor

Seven

"Jack! Jack! I swear to god!"

A man opened the door. He was handsome in a way that let you know he was obviously aware of it. His hair was shaggy brown and he smiled confidently, making him both more likable and obnoxious.

"Just dropping by?"

"Oh yes. Just wanted to see what you were up to."

Jack laughed slightly. "Well the funniest thing happened last night. Rose Tyler showed up at my door."

"In a proper snit I suppose?" Jack nodded and the Doctor sighed. "Yeah me too."

Rose appeared beside him and glared at the Doctor. "What are you doing here?" He looked back at her exasperated. "Me? You're blaming me for this. I didn't want to go Rose. It's not like I regenerated for fun!"

She stormed back into Jack's flat and the doctor followed her. Jack watched them both. "Oh please come in." He muttered under his breath.

"It doesn't matter. My husband is dead."

"My wife has been dead for ages. I deal with it."

She sent him another crippling glare. "I don't know what you mean, but just stop it."

"Stop what?" He noticed the tears rolling down her face as she turned to face him entirely. "Stop changing! Just everything stop!" She sat down in a chair and his face softening, he came to sit beside her.

He awkwardly reached his hand out and put in on her shoulder. She wiped her eyes. "I know it's foolish, but when you regenerated my whole life got flipped upside down. My husband who had always been perfect became someone I didn't even know. I was almost relieved when I saw where I was, because it felt familiar and safe."

She paused to sniffle and wipe her eyes again. "Then I wandered about, looking for you. I knew you'd be nearby because of the dimension split, but it surprised me how easy it was to find you. I guess you're pretty predictable. The first time I knocked I just ran. I couldn't handle it. I felt.. dishonest."

"Dishonest?"

She nodded. "I know it doesn't make sense, but I did. Then I finally convinced myself to go back and you were different. I knew you'd look different, but it's more then that... and you have this wife who seems to be so genuinely sweet."

He laughed instinctively at the word she used to describe River, but got it under control and tried to be comforting.

"I don't know how to help you Rose."

She looked into his eyes and took his hand. "Be my Doctor again."


	8. Chapter 8

"The heart was made to be broken." -Oscar Wilde

Eight

She was bouncing like she was riding a horse and breathing like she'd run a mile. She reached her hand up to pull her sweaty hair back.

The Doctor grabbed her shoulders and pulled her down to kiss him. She briefly kissed him and he brushed her hair away before she leaned back again. She screamed and rolled off of him, breathing too hard to speak.

He looked over at her and smiled, gently petting her mass of curly hair. "Oh my River." He muttered quietly.

He'd told her he'd needed a release, but what he was really needed was a distraction. He could always count on River to lose himself in with her perfect hair and her soft skin.

He didn't mind being alone when he was with River, because with her he didn't feel so alone any more. His time lord. Half time lord, half human. She made him feel normal. The way he had felt back on Galifrey. He would've loved to take her there. She would've loved it.

He needed River, but the mere sight of Rose Tyler had knocked the wind out of him. He hadn't given her an answer to what she'd asked of him. Just muttered that she was too tired to think clearly and that she should get some sleep.

"Got your fill?" River's voice interrupted his thoughts. He looked at her and smiled. "Never." She kissed him again before rolling over and falling asleep with her hair spread across her pillow.

He rolled over so he was facing the opposite direction. The memories came down upon him in a flurry. "Blimey you look beautiful." He rolled over again and tried to shove the memories away. "I thought 'cause you changed you might not want me anymore." He flipped over again. "I'm burning up a sun just to say goodbye."

River's hand on his shoulder once again pulled him from his thoughts. "Are you alright?" He rolled over one more time so he was facing her.

"I'm always alright." He muttered quietly before falling back asleep.


	9. Chapter 9

"When you wake up… I'll be a story in your head. But that's okay. We're all stories, in the end… just make it a good one, eh? Because it was. It was the best." -The Doctor

Nine

"How clever you are!" She screamed at him from one end of the room.

"How perfectly clever!"

He dodged a flying object and screamed back. "Why, because I dare question your authority Dr Song?!"

She made a low growling in her throat and stormed towards him, but was cut off by a knocking on the tardis door. They both turned their heads in unison and River looked back at him. "Get the door dear. We have company."

He opened the door and saw Rose standing there. River laughed. "Speak of the devil." She glanced at her. "Am I interrupting something?"

River smiled. "No. Of course not. Just a lover's squabble." Rose nodded softly and looked between them. "About what."

Noth-" The Doctor started, but River cut him off. "You." Rose looked down. "Oh."

They sat in awkward silence before Rose finally said. "You said you didn't want to go... Those were my husband's last words." The Doctor nodded. "I could've guessed that."

River reached forward and grabbed his hand. "I think I'll go for a walk, so you guy's can have some time. Talk things out." He squeezed her hand, their previous fight forgiven.

"Thank you River." He leaned in and kissed her. She smiled at Rose briefly before she went out the door. Rose looked at her feet and then glanced up at the Doctor.

"You love her?" He nodded. "I married her." Rose sighed finally. "Everyday for years I'd wake up and think about you. It felt like..."

"Like we were still on either side of that white wall." She nodded. "Yeah. It felt exactly like that."

They were silent for a while until she swallowed and continued. "The meta-crisis Doctor made it easier. He was you, in some ways, in other ways he was so entirely different. He became a teacher, went by John Smith." The Doctor laughed. "Truly?"

She nodded. "I told him to join Torchwood. Told him he would be the most valuable worker Torchwood ever had. He absolutely refused of course. Said he didn't become human, so that he could study aliens. Went off for hours about it and when I finally got him calmed down he told me he wanted to be a teacher and study children."

The Doctor smiled. "I can understand that." She was smiling now as well, in a rather sad way. "I loved him so much. He was so good to me. Even after a year of being married he always remembered to stop by the bakery after work and get us both scones. Then he'd come home and we'd just watch the telly or eat dinner, it didn't matter because we were together. My parents loved him, my younger brother loved him, I loved him most of all... but he-" She paused and sighed. The Doctor reached for her hand. "What Rose?" She locked her eyes with his. "He wasn't you Doctor."


	10. Chapter 10

"Amy Pond: 'I thought... well, I started to think you were just a madman with a box.' The Doctor: 'Amy Pond, there's something you better understand about me, 'cause it's important and one day your life may depend on it. [He Smiles] I am definitely a madman with a box." ― Steven Moffat

Ten

Here he was again. Same exact place with no clear escape. He almost hoped River would walk throught the door, so he wouldn't have to answer.

He tightened his bow-tie. "Of course he's not. Technically he's actually half Donna." He turned away from her mumbling.

She caught up to him. "That's not what I meant. I mean as much as I loved him he was only a replacement. Only a band-aid trying to cover the wound that you left, Doctor."

He moved a few feet away. "Rose." She grabbed him by his tweed jacket and pulled him closer. "I'm not a child Doctor, I'm not tired. My mind is clear and I know exactly what I want." She leaned forward and kissed him.

He put his hands on her shoulders and kissed her back for a minute or so before pulling away. "I'm married Rose."

She nodded, looking ashamed. "I know that. I'm sorry. It was an accident. Please... please don't tell River. She's been so nice to me and I hate to think..."

He nodded "It's okay. I won't tell her."

Rose nodded. "What were you fighting about with her?" The Doctor paused. "She thought I wasn't being sympathetic to you."

At that moment as if on cue River Song burst through the door.

"Hello Sweeties. Good talk?" The Doctor nodded and Rose wiped her eyes. "Yes, very much so. I should get going now."

She left and River turned to him. He didn't look at her. She moved to look into his eyes, but he looked away. She tried to catch his eyes and he met them for only a moment before looking at his feet. River sighed.

"I don't blame you. She's young and she's beautiful and I know you loved her. I suppose you still do, but I will give you one chance Doctor. Leave now. Go after her and I won't blame you. I won't hate you for it. No drama or anger. Just go, but it has to be now or else I'll hate you forever."

 **A/N: I'm leaving it up to you guys. Rose vs River.**


	11. Chapter 11

"If there's one thing I believe in - just one! - I believe in her." ~ The Doctor DOCTOR: Are you married, River? RIVER: Are you asking? DOCTOR: Yes. RIVER: Yes. DOCTOR: No. Hang on. Did you think I was asking you to marry me or asking if you were married? RIVER: Yes. DOCTOR: No, but was that yes or yes? RIVER: Yes.

ELEVEN

"How could you even think that?" He brushed away her stubborn blonde hair. "I chose you. It's always been you."

She continued to look at him with an unwavering gaze, so he responded. "No, Rose. River didn't kick me out. I guess I sort of left or she did. I told her I needed some time. I told her I needed to think and she got upset and left."

She nodded. "It doesn't bother me that you look different you know. I guess being with the meta-crisis doctor made me realize. He looked just like the man I loved, but I could tell in so many ways he wasn't and never would be... and you well you don't look at all like him, but I guess I sort of know that you are."

"Even if you're different... and older... and married. Why didn't you just stay with River? Because you said you needed to think everything becomes so dramatic and horrible. Someone is going to get hurt. We all probably will. You let me go once. Why didn't you just do it again?"

He turned quickly. "Because I love you and I didn't let you go. Never I say I let you go. I lost you. I raged and fought, but I lost you twice. Once to save your life and once to save your happiness, but I can't do it again. I won't. I'll be selfish this time. I'll tear apart the universe. I'll damn us both to a life of misery before I ever stand at Bad Wolf Bay again."

He was basically yelling now, but she cut him off with a kiss. They'd only kissed once before. She'd kissed the meta-crisis Doctor and he'd unknowingly snogged Cassandra, but they'd only kissed once before and this time it was different.

This time they were new people. Both literally and physically in his case. She wasn't the spoiled, innocent nineteen year old from London who breathed in the soul of the Tardis anymore. She was Rose Tyler: Defender of the Earth and he, well he still wasn't sure who he was, but he was willing to try to figure it out for her.

She threw her hands around his neck and leaned forward until he was pushed against the wall. He had to find a place to put his hands without it being awkward. She was Rose and this had to be perfect.

He put his hands on her hips. She pulled away from the kiss and looked at him for a moment. "I just have to find you again." She pulled him along with one hand and led him into the room where she was staying in Torchwood.

He pulled away from her. "No. I want this to be perfect. Come away with me. I can take you such wonderful places. Don't sleep with me so you can find me again. Do it because you have."

Rose nodded. "Thank you Doctor, but I can handle myself. You're right of course, but don't think you know everything. I won't go anywhere with you until you talk to River. Make up your mind and then we can travel the universe, because I'm thinking _that way._ "


	12. Chapter 12

"Remember me and smile, for it's better to forget than to remember me and cry." ― Dr. Seuss

Twelve

"Come to bid me farewell my love?" He looked at her with big sad eyes. "River-" He started, but she cut him off. "Don't you dare apologize. Not for any of it."

He nodded. "I didn't come to apologize River. I came to tell you that-" She finished for him. "That our ending is inevitable and with her you have a future. With her you have a chance."

He smiled sadly. "Maybe it's not the end. Maybe it's only the beginning. We do keep meeting in the wrong order."

She smiled back at him in the same way. "She is human. If I'm still around in sixty years give me a call?"

He nodded again. "I wouldn't call anyone else." River sighed and turned away back across the street where they'd met, but he called out to her. "River! I- I love you." She smiled. "I know."

He let a tear fall down his face without wiping it away. "You seem to know more then I do, so do we meet again?" She walked over to him and kissed him.

In a way he never wanted to let go of her. It felt so very final, so very much like goodbye and he hated endings, but sometimes things had to end. Everything had to end, but it wasn't the end this time.

He had a whole world to explore and a girl he loved to explore it with and River... Things with River were never over. He'd seen her just after she was born. They'd both seen the time when they looked into the other one's eyes and realized they didn't know them... and it almost killed them both.

He pulled away for a second and looked into her eyes. "When Galifrey burned... when I burned it every time lord in existence, other then myself, was destroyed. All, but two. One who was there in the time war. One born on Galifrey who later tried to destroy the Earth... twice. The other was born at demons run. Half time-lord, but so utterly human. One of them I married. One of them I love, so tell me River... Do I see you again?"

She just smiled and started to dissapear as she pushed a button on her vortex manipulator and whispered. "Spoilers."

 **A/N: I had him choose Rose (as the lovely LilienRose and LieselMargarite asked me to) because I honestly think he would've. The Doctor's kinda vulcan-ish in some ways and logical is definitely one of them. He could have forever with River (she's already put out a statement basically saying she's coming back) and with Rose (who he did love. no one can argue with that) the longest he can spend with her is until she dies. She's human and although River is his family, Rose was the love of his life. I'm sorry to m, Carly, and Kittenallie who are River fans (like myself actually) and thank you all so much for commenting. Maybe I'll do another fanfic about him and River after Rose dies. A huge thank you to everyone who reads this. This is my first real fanfic and I'm soooooo happy to know you guys like it! Love you all! Leave me any suggestions in the comments and I promise I'll try to work them in. Thanks for reading!**


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